Ivory's monologue

I meant to post this up earlier but here it is now :)

Context for Ivory’s monologue

Ivory’s monologue is in the later part of the game when he’s learnt that Robert has killed his friend Barney and he’s been taking advantage of Coleen through Frances to reclaim Barney’s unpaid debt, although the debt had been repaid long ago and he’s kept taking cuts of what should have been Coleen’s money. As Coleen isn't particularly the type to take action, Ivory, out of a sense of responsibility to Coleen and vengeance for Barney’s death, he decides to kill Robert and burn down the speakeasy (Robbie’s Club). Ivory’s monologue is the moment just before he puts his plan into action. It tells us the built up anger Ivory has towards Robert and gives us an insight to his reasons for killing him, as it’s an act of justice rather than a random act of violence.

 Ivory monologue draft #1 – 154 words

Every night he goes to his office to have a smoke and a drink of whiskey. It’s a predictable habit of his before he leaves the club whilst I’m mopping the floor without even the liberty of whistlin’. Well tonight is when it changes for good. Tonight is the night when Robert Freidman pays for killing Barney and countless others. This is the night when he’ll no longer terrorise defenceless girls like poor Coleen. Tonight is the night when Robert Freidman dies by my vengeful hands and I free all that are under his intimidation. And not only will I kill this evil bastard, I’ll also destroy all traces of his existence. There’s plenty of flammables to deal with that in the cellar. I’m doing this for Coleen, for my friend Barney and any other unfortunate soul who might’ve come across the devil that is Robert Freidman. I will be his reckoning this night.

Ivory monologue draft #2 – 148 words

The club’s closed now and it’s just me and him. He’ll go into his office as usual whilst I mop the floor. That’s it, go and enjoy a nice drink and a smoke whilst you can. The club’s quiet now, quiet enough. Tonight is the night when Robert Freidman pays for killing Barney and countless others. This is the night when he’ll no longer terrorise defenceless girls like poor Coleen. Tonight is the night when Robert Freidman dies by my vengeful hands and I free all who fear him. Not only will I kill this evil bastard, I’ll also destroy everything he has. There’s plenty of booze in the cellar to turn this club to ashes. I’m doing this for Coleen, for my friend Barney and for any other unfortunate soul who might’ve come across the devil that is Robert Freidman. I will be his reckoning this night.